Another Running Year Closes In

I have spend the better part of the year trying to heal from the full marathon, and somehow rid myself of the lingering injuries I acquired from it. As hard as I worked at strengthening my core and lower back, the knee pain continued to return on runs longer than about 6 miles. And somewhere after the full I badly injured my hamstring. I was barely healed from the full marathon before I had to run the La Jolla Half, "uninjured" but totally untrained. And of course without having addressed the sources of those injuries, they came right back in full force just miles into the run, taking me weeks again to heal. I spent the rest of this abnormally warm summer running short distances, but feeling like I was doomed, and fearing that my long distance running career was short lived and over.

With the AFC Half being the last race in the Triple Crown Series in August, and already knowing it was going to be miserably hot, I didn't want to run in pain too, so my last ditch effort was to go to Sharp's Running Clinic to see if they could ascertain what was causing the knee pain, while trying to rest my hamstring. I had found about it from an article in Runner's World magazine, and had enough time to get in and be seen and be able to apply any recommendations before the race.

What happened next was amazing! Stewart was the PT that I saw, and he assessed my flexibility, muscle strength and then had me run on a treadmill and took tape from both the back and side, and had me come back the next month to go over the results. What he found was that my quads were overly tight; likely the cause of my strained hamstring, and I had a tight right hip flexor which was causing my left leg to track over too far and land in front of me instead of straight down, which then in turn de-stabilized my core and put a lot of strain and weight on the outside of my knee. Armed with new personalized knowledge of my own bio-mechanics and exactly what was going wrong, I did the exercises and stretches he had given me, while applying this new knowledge to my running and workout routines. Two weeks later, I ran a 10 mile long run - no pain. Two more weeks later, another 10 miler - no pain. And finally, in August, I ran the AFC with a terrible time of 2:12 but most importantly, pain free! It wasn't anywhere close to a PR but it was a major win in my book!

Now, I look forward to running the Holiday Half (my all time favorite race) and I have my sights set on a PR (1:50 or less). I have a new lease on life, or at least running!

I also purchased the Withings scale and body fat analyzer which will allow me to monitor my body fat on a regular basis, which is really necessary for someone like me who has so much muscle mass and day to day weight variance and fluctuation that just weight itself barely paints a silhouette no less an accurate picture of health. I'm happy to report that I'm at a solid 24% body fat, which is the same as it was a few years ago when I got myself officially tested (dunked), and a completely normal and very healthy level.

Now if only this damn heat would calm the eff down so I could run my little heart out during my lunch breaks, instead of sweating my nuts off for walking.....

The Marathon: The Wait, The Race & The Aftermath

The Work Week - The Wait

The week leading up to the marathon was pretty typical. I had work, and the daily routine with Ryan and the girls to keep me busy, and Mandi was back at work and keeping my mind and body occupied with easy lunch runs. Then Friday came. Friday was different because there were no more work days left before the Marathon. It was just Sat, then the race. There began the butterflies.

Saturday - The Day Before

Saturday was hectic, and anxiously frustrating. The girls had gymnastics, so I was going to take them to that to allow Ryan time to go mountain biking. I figured since I was already over on the 5 side, I would head up after to pick up my race bib. The expo was up at the start/finish off the 78 in Carlsbad, which was pretty far and a pain that I would be driving up there twice in one weekend. But hey, this is my big marathon, gotta do whatcha gotta do. So I head up with the girls after gymnastics and hit a stupid amount of traffic. Not due to anything in particular, just regular old weekend suck ass traffic. Getting off on the 78 I see that there is more, horrendous traffic waiting to get on the 5 south. I decide even though going back on the 15 is about 8 miles longer, it would probably save me time in traffic. Meanwhile I go in, get my race bib, shirt and jacket. The jacket was pretty freaking awesome, and I was very stoked about that. Nice touch that the bib had my name on it, and the chip was in the bib, instead of having to keep track of a separate one and put it on my shoe. I bought some energy blocs, and tried to get out of that tent of madness without trying to lose the girls in the process. In looking up the traffic on the way home, I see that there is a massive accident on the 15 south, so unfortunately the lesser of two evils is a crap-shoot. I choose the 5 and hope for the best. Finally, after 3 hours of traffic and crowd surfing just to get my freaking bib (remind me next time to just pay the $20 convenience fee if its that far away), I'm finally home. We get together the girls stuff, and get ready to take them over to Cheryl's. Meanwhile we are also waiting to get our new TV delivered (the old one decided to scream at us and display green lines of abhorrence every time we turned it on). They finally get it to us and once kid free, the preparations begin.

I had a big list of things to remember that I had been compiling over the week, including a change of clothes, after race pain meds, ice for my knee, etc. Organized, clothes and bags all set up, it's time for my last supper. Adam had been sweet enough to switch shifts to have Sunday off, and came right from his Saturday shift to our place. I made buffalo tacos, (what else???) and took a shower, and we all went to bed to try to get as much sleep as possible.

Sunday - The Race

After much discussion the night before, it was decided that the alarm should be set for 4am, and we should try to leave as soon as possible once we were ready. We left shortly after 5:15am and arrived at about 5:45am. Ryan and Adam got the bikes ready (they would be tracking me along the course by bike and keeping everyone digitally connected and updated). At about 6:00am we headed over to the start line. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but there were very few people compared to the half marathons I had run previously. I found out later there were just over 1,000 participants in the full marathon, compared to the over 6,500 participating in the half marathon. Needless to say it was not crowded, no need for organization into waves or corrals. So I hung back at the end and Adam and Ryan froze their nuts of waiting with me in the darkness before dawn until they released us, a good 10 min later than the scheduled start time of 6:15am.

I had decided to run with my belt pack, which worked out because I just attached the bib to it. But it was a little bulky with the energy blocs and my phone. Plus I had my throwaway long sleeve, short sleeve and gloves over it all, so I felt awkward, and probably looked it too. And predictably, less than a mile in, I had to stop and readjust everything; tighten the belt pack since it was bouncing up and down and pulling up my singlet, detach the bottom two pins, pull the singlet back up and pull the throw away clothes back down over it. Ugh, great start. Not too much longer the throw away clothes gone, I was into a groove. I had decided to only run with my cadence/metronome app, since I was afraid Strava would drain my battery and I figured it would be best if I didn't know my mile by mile pace to tempt my brain to push me faster than my body wanted to run by feel.

By the 4th mile I had started to feel my knee a little bit, so I knew I was in for a tough run, but I was feeling strong and my effort was easy so I tried to go as easy on my knee as possible. Miles 4-9 headed up Palomar Airport Road (PAR), the only significant hill of the run. I knew that I really need to conserve my energy on this leg, since it was still so early in the race. So I started eating a bloc per mile and just took it easy paying attention to my effort. Made it up and back down, finding a running buddy around mile 12 who noticed my metronome and asked what I had it set at. Turns out his pace matched mine really well and we tracked each other off and on the rest of the race. He was an older gentleman. He told me the Carlsbad was his first marathon about 3 years ago, and this was his third one, giving me encouragement that I seemed to be doing great for this being my first. By this time the marathon runners had really thinned out, and there were only a handful of people at any given time within a 15 foot radius. I had seen the front of the marathon pack (a group of young stud muffin men) headed back on PAR while I was still going up, some bit after them I saw the 4 hour pacer, and on my way back down I saw the last few stragglers struggling to stay in front of the cut off time. I knew I was staying some bit ahead of the 4:15 pacer, so I knew I was on track to finish between 4-4:15.

I was not prepared for the absolute chaos that was ahead of me as we merged for a few miles
with the half marathoners. On one hand it was nice to be around people again as the marathon course had become quite lonely the more spaced out we all got, but it was unsettling to be suddenly surrounded and difficult to maintain my pace weaving between them all. Then practically as soon as it started it was over and us marathoners continued down our desolate road of more miles while the masses of halfers turned around to head back. The very bottom was mile 18 and that's where the real effort began. Luckily I had friends and family all along the course cheering me on (Thank you Mandi, Dustyn and Rubins!). I got to 20 and I thought, "Ok, I've trained up to this many miles, you need to figure out how to get through these last 6 miles". I was already in quite a bit of pain; my feet, my

knee, my everything ached and just wanted to dive into a big hot tub for the rest of eternity... but no, I had to just. keep. running. The last 6 miles I used every mental trick I had to keep myself going, talking myself into doable chunks of distance. "Ok, just get to 22 miles, then you only have one campus loop left. You have done that loop a million times with Mandi, you can do one more with your hands tied behind your back!" "Ok now you are at 25 miles. Just ONE more mile to get through!" "Ok you made it to 26. Just .2 left." "Just around the bend is the finish line, you got this!" All along the way, I got more and more emotional as the pain and my effort increased, and the closer I got to the finish. There were a few signs that I saw along the way that in any other circumstance, would have been laughably cheesy. But being completely physically and emotionally drained out there just trying to get through those last miles with no other option, these signs just choked me up. "When your legs can't run anymore, run with your heart". GAH, just typing those words bring tears to my eyes. By the time I

crossed the finish line I was an emotional basket case, tears of sheer joy running down my face. I crossed at about 4:07 so I knew I had not met my stretch goal of under 4 hours, but at that point, I was so happy to finish with a decent time there was no room for disappointment. I knew I had given it my all and wasn't capable on that day of any more. I limped to retrieve my finishers medal andgoodie bag, and saw Meg screaming at me. I ran into her arms and just sobbed uncontrollably. We met back up with Ryan and Adam and spend the next hour trying to get out of the mall parking lot.

Eventually we made it to the Bressi Ranch Pizza Port to celebrate with friends and family and let me tell you that pizza never tasted so good. It was a gorgeous day and I had done my work for the day so time had come to relax and bask in the San Diego sun.

The Days Following - The Aftermath

The next day I was in serious pain. My left knee and right ankle were totally miserable, so between the two I was hobbling like a 90 year old woman. Luckily it was a holiday otherwise I would have had to call out sick. I rested, my mom brought the girls back and I prepared to get through the next day. I had an appointment with my massage therapist and I didn't think there was much that he would be able to do, since my knee was not muscular, and neither was my ankle from what I could tell. In fact I was afraid I might even have a stress fracture. But I went in and as always, he blew me out of the water, coercing all my muscles and connective tissues back into alignment. I was amazed when after the massage was over, I stood up and felt absolutely no pain bearing weight on my knee or ankle. Luckily no lasting damage done, just some really pissed off and inflamed tendons. As this has been an emerging injury that has just gotten worse with the higher mileage I asked his professional advise on the cause. If you go online to sort out the causes of "runner's knee" you get a million guesses and nothing definite, as body mechanics are very complex and generalities only get you so far. My best guess was perhaps under developed glutes (it seems to be a common cause for many people). I was surprised when he told me that no, actually all of my lower body muscles (glutes, hammies, quads, etc) were all extremely well developed and plenty strong. However, the weakness in my body is my short torso, and my swayback (hyperextended lumbar spine), which prevents the repetitive force of  running to be adequately distributed all the way up my back and spine. Instead, it stays in the lower back, and my hips tend to come out of alignment very easily, which of course leads to all kinds of other issues, which I had experienced over the last year. He suggested that just a little bit more core work to build those deep abdominal muscles and lower back muscles would be able to support and distribute the force of those extended miles better than they were now. And like a sign from above, RunnersWorld posted this article: Fast Abs It listed some great exercises to build the core, as well as injuries that can occur when you don't: "Without a stable core, you can't control the movement of your torso as well, and you risk putting excess force on your joints each time your foot lands. This can lead to pain under the knee (known as "runner's knee"), patellar tendinitis (a sharp pain in the bottom of the knee), and iliotibial-band tendinitis." Well I think I have my answer, or at least a very good place to start!

So while I'm not planning or signing up for my next full marathon yet, I know that is where I am headed, since breaking that 4 hour mark is the next obvious goal to set. There is much to do before then though. First and most importantly is to give some time back to my family who has been so patiently giving of themselves so I could take more for this accomplishment. Ryan needs to get back to regular mountain biking, and the girls need some mommy snuggles. Next is to ease back into running without injury, taking heed of what my body tells me and incorporating more core work. I have the other two half marathons this year in April and August to complete out the Triple Crown. Maybe in a few years I can convince Ryan and the girls to let me train for another full. :)

Never Give Up. Never Quit. Sometimes Take A Break. (My Running Journey So Far)

I've been looking back at my running journey a lot lately. Although I have always run off and on, I never considered myself a runner until the last year or so. I had never viewed and sought out running as it's own sport (as opposed to just an aspect of one). In high school, I played sports. All of them. Mostly it was something to do. When you grow up in the middle of nowhere boredom normally leads down two roads. One to sports the other to drugs. I enjoyed being active, and my parents were hippies so drugs weren't appealing to me. So sports it was. When I look back on the practices, the running was really the only part I was good at; I was always one of the first to cross whatever distance we were running. As soon as the ball came into play (softball, basketball, volleyball) I sucked, and I often fouled out of every basketball game I ever played. That should have been a clue. (Key word should).

We never had a track team in high school. Except for that one year we had a teacher that loved track. So he started one. I can't remember his name but he was tall, with huge glasses and a big nose. There were only a few people on the team, and they struggled with maintaining enough people to compete in meets. Once, the coach came to me and asked if I could run with them; they didn't have enough people to qualify and wouldn't be able to compete if I didn't join them. I did, and did OK. I remember finishing somewhere in the middle, and being happy I wasn't last but disappointed that I didn't win (as if that would have been even a remote possibility). I think at that point I wouldn't have considered "just" running when there were opportunities to play more popular sports that had more social interaction with all of my friends. I realize now that's what sports were for me in high school; a way to keep myself out of trouble, stay active and be social all at once.

I graduated high school, and joined the track team at UCSD my freshman year. I'm not quite sure how I ended up there, but I was determined to be part of the pole vaulting team. The training was intense and for several months I worked hard, though never actually picking up a pole. They ended up cutting me, explaining that they just didn't think it was going to work out. They suggested I join one of the other track teams... like throwing (javelin, shot put, etc). I'm not sure why but I decided not to. I don't know if it was the sense of rejection, or my viewpoint of throwing events not being as glamorous as pole vaulting, but whatever the reason I just left and took a break from activity.

This break, coupled with the freshman meal plan eating from campus dining halls lead to more than just the freshman 15. I graduated high school at about 118 lbs, and by the end of freshman year I had ballooned up to close to 140, maybe more. At some point it broke and I had to make a change. I started running, simply to lose weight. I started running campus loop (about 4 miles) then running down to Black's and along the beach for a stretch before heading back. Over time, I kept running further and further before heading back. Each new point I would run to would open up a new stretch of beach beyond that to aim for next time. This became the start of my relationship with distance running. Adding on a little bit at a time, pushing yourself a little further each time, yet still pacing yourself and saving something in reserve for the way back. The furthest I think I ever made it was about 8 miles up and back.

In April of my sophomore year I met Ryan, and he opened up my world to a whole new realm of activities. Rock climbing, mountain biking, camping, hiking and backpacking. My running took a backseat as he sucked at running and I very much enjoyed spending time with him doing these other things anyway. I still ran, but it was as a supplement to the other ways that we were active together.

After being together for 4 years, we got married. Another 4 years later, we had Rory, then Abby 2 years after that. I was not active during my pregnancies. My hormones were absolutely out of control, and I had very strong and severe symptoms. I was exhausted, nauseous and uncomfortable for most of both pregnancies. I like to say that I'm just a committed personality type, and whatever I throw myself at I do so wholeheartedly. That was certainly true of pregnancy for me. My body was growing little human beings and there simply wasn't much left for me. So for 5 years my body was taken over by my beautiful little parasites, and the sole purpose of my existence was to create and provide for them.

When Abby was a year old, I finally felt in control of my life and had enough energy to expend on myself again. Finding time outside of work was an issue. Working full time took as much time away from my family as I was willing to spend, so my compromise was working out during my lunch break. It was not ideal, as I die in the heat and working out during your lunch break is the fastest way to do that, but working on the coast alleviates that enough to make it survivable. Finding my way back to running was a tough start. I experienced aches and pains that I had endured before (shin splints) and ones I had not (hip pain, knee pain, ankle pain). I was frustrated that only running 2-3 miles a few times a week brought on so many issues, but since running was the core of my lunch workout, I had to figure it out. I did lots of online research, went to Road Runner and got fitted for shoes, started stretching and doing specific strengthening exercises and eventually was able to work myself back up to 4-5 mile runs, and by summer of 2013 I had decided to run my first half-marathon and was training for it.

That half-marathon turned out to be the Coronado Strand Half that November. I was still battling with a reoccurring hip injury that I had not been able to work out, and at mile 2 it started to lock up. I thought, "Well I've come this far. I'm trained for this distance, and I'm here, now. I can either call it off and quit, or just push through." I've never been a quitter, and I didn't think I would be doing lasting damage to my body, so I pushed. It wasn't pretty, but I finished with a respectable time of 2:10. In fact, It only motivated me further, since I knew that without the hip injury I surely would have been able to finish in under 2 hours. So I went to my masseuse for the first time, (an amazing therapist that Ryan had seen several times) and he worked out my problem muscle; the TFL, which was the cause of the hip issues.

All fixed up and injury free, I turned around and signed up for the inaugural Holiday Half at the end of December, since I was already trained. It was an amazing race; the weather was perfect, I was both rested and trained, and I snuck in just under 2 hours, finishing in 1:58. I remember saying that I should just stop there, because there was surely no way I could top that... and yet I knew that after taking on 13 miles, I still had it in me to go for more. So the full marathon planning began.

After some back and forth I settled on the Carlsbad Marathon in January of 2015. It gave me plenty of time to train up to it, and the majority of my heaviest training would be after the seasonal cool down. Through it I started using a new breathing technique as lined out in an article I saw on RunnersWorld, and downloaded a metronome app for my phone to increase my cadence to the ideal 180. These have helped decrease my injury incidences by correcting my stride. Since those take a lot of concentration, I have had to stop running with music, something that I would have told you before was absolutely impossible for me.

I'm tapering down now, but I peaked at 40 weekly miles and completed two 20 mile runs 2 weeks apart. I really concentrated on decreasing my overall pace to between a 9-10 min/mile. I also decided a few weeks ago to trade in my long run and some of my weekly miles for the Holiday Half again this last weekend, figuring that trading in the weekly miles would be well worth the practice run in a real race situation. I'm so glad I did because I shaved 7 min off my total time from last year, and finished in 1:51,which is a new PR for me, I placed 55th out of 260 in my division which is top 20% and something that really puts my hard work and dedication into perspective. I was able to maintain the same 8:30 pace I was running last year, but instead of hitting the wall and slowing down the last 3 miles I was able to hold out and speed up for the last little bit. It was a pretty amazing feeling to be so in control of my body, my pace, my energy expenditure.

Although I still have a lot to learn about running and myself, I have come so far in the last few years and really feel in tune with my body. A forthcoming post will probably cover what a spiritual experience running has been for me, but this one is plenty long as it is!

One Month Of Training Down

When you are running nearly every day and so very gradually adding total weekly miles, miles to your long run and speed, but none all at once, it is really hard to see your progress. It is happening so gradually it doesn't seem to be happening at all. That is what I love about tracking your mileage (I use Strava because it also tracks elevation as well as miles). You can look back over time and see the progression, even when you feel like you aren't getting anywhere. I have been officially training for about 6 weeks and if you asked me what I had accomplished in that time, based on my subjective assessment of myself, I would say not much... gotten a tad faster, more consistent, added some weekly mileage but haven't been able to add hardly anything to my long runs. But 6 weeks is a long time! I should have something more to show for that right?????

Not so fast... looking at the stats, I started 6 weeks ago at 20-25 miles a week, 10-12 min/mile average paces, 10 mile long run. In that time, I had to take a week off for a horrible case of strep throat which brought me to my knees, suffered the seemingly undying heat from a lingering summer, and took a week largely off for general fatigue and wear & tear. Despite this, I am now at 30 miles a week, 9-11 min/mile average paces, 12 mile long run. So while it's frustrating that I haven't been able to add much mileage to my long run over that time, I have added a significant number of weekly miles, and shaved some decent time off of them (although much of this can be attributed to the cooler temps).

And more than that, the major goal of your training schedule - regardless of what that schedule may be - is to gradually add weekly & long run mileage and increase speed in a way that challenges your body to strengthen so that it can tolerate the increased activity demands without injury. In short, if you are able to be adding miles and increasing speed in a comfortable way without injuring yourself, you you are accomplishing the main point of training. Sure I could probably up and finish a marathon just based on the extent of my training so far. But it wouldn't be pretty. I would be slow as hell, and I would injure myself in the process, potentially permanently. While I am dead-set on running the marathon, I want to do it safely, and I want to give myself the best shot at finishing strong. So when it comes down to it, I have been training for 6 weeks and what I have to show for it is a strong body that can now comfortably run 30 miles a week, run at a quickened pace of a 8-10 mile/min for a shorter cooler run, and drop down to a 10-12 min/mile for a longer 12 mile run. Sure, I have had to take some breaks here and there, and pull back and listen to my body when it tells me I'm pushing it too far, but the goal isn't to stick to the training schedule no matter what; the goal is to use it as a guideline to follow as I prepare my body in the most efficient way possible for a very physically demanding event in the near future. It would be more advantageous to me to not reach my peak goals in training if I can do it by not injuring myself and being fully rested and trained by peak day, than to trash my body to reach an unrealistic training goal if my body is just not capable of doing it comfortably it in this time-frame, and heading into race day injured.

This Sat I am supposed to be doing a 16 mile long run. I was supposed to do a 14 mile long run two weeks ago, and I only got to 12. So my goal is 14, and if I am able to do this I am technically only 2 miles behind my training schedule. Mentally I'm thinking "I'm supposed to be at 16 and I'm only at 12" but by looking back at the data, I can put my emotions to rest and realize I've done well and can push forward as my body allows, but hold back if that's what my body needs.

The Year of Running

So I changed my mind. Big surprise, I tend to do that. I am now signed up for the Carlsbad Marathon on January 18th. The course is not as great, but the timing for both training and running the race itself is going to be much better, and it won't be as crowded or commercialized as the Rock & Roll. Also, the CM is part of the Triple Crown Series, along with the La Jolla Half and the America's Finest City Half. So I can add my first marathon medal to my rack, then two more half medals, and one more for completing the Triple Crown. I have been officially training for about 2 weeks now, at about 20 miles per week and 10 mile long runs. Running 4 days a week, cross training one, and yoga, which leaves one day off for rest.

Months ago I would have told you that a 6 day a week schedule was too much for my body, and that I did better at less days a week (maybe 3-4). What I realize now is that I just didn't add activity gradually enough, giving my body the time to be stressed and grow stronger without getting injured. I have learned so much about my body through this process it is unbelievable. The body is capable of so much, and is constantly responding to stimulus and the environment. I do believe that almost anything is possible; you just have to listen carefully to your body, and push it just far enough to stress it into growth and adding strength, but also pulling back and giving it enough rest to heal before pushing it again. Training is a constant dance back and forth.

To that effect I have comfortably built up to that 6 day a week training schedule and it feels AMAZING. I will be adding miles per week and miles onto my long run, eventually topping out at 40 miles per week and a 23 mile long run. I can honestly say that I am in the best shape of my entire life. My body feels so strong and healthy.

I've purchased 3 of the last 5 pairs of my shoe in existence (6.5W Mizuno Wave Rider 16) in anticipation of my grueling training schedule, and figure after this year I will just have to find a new shoe that works out. And it's looking like my cousin Jay is going to run it with me, which would be so exciting.

A Day In The Life

In an attempt to show myself and others how consuming a food addiction can be, this is a documentation of a workday and every time I think about food.

8:40am - Saw a chocolate cookie recipe in my facebook feed. Mouth waters thinking about a really good, chewy CCC. No, remember. That's the addiction talking. Refill your water glass instead. Take a big swig. Decide to record every "craving".
9:26am - Take a big drink of water. Makes me think of food. And the big bag of Twix (my favorite candy bar) that I got as a gift from a student banquet earlier in the week. Happy that everyone (the girls and Ryan) have eaten more of them than I have. Also reminds me of the extra brownies in the work fridge that I threw away this morning. Telling them they were devil morsels I was happy to see go while watching them disappear into the garbage can. This reminds me of the recipe for twice baked potatoes that I saw on my blogger feed as I was opening my blog to start this post.
10:00 - Legitimately hungry. Get out my healthy homemade bran muffin to heat up in the microwave. See the chips and brownies that are still left in the workroom. Think of the amazing artichoke dip that is now gone (I resisted yesterday) that goes with those chips.Think of all the fun things I could do with the leftover chips. Nachos. Tortilla soup. Chilaquiles. Don't know why but look in the fridge. Think of my commitment to try to cut out coffee now - and the added dairy that I get from my current consumption of two cups a day.
10:54 - Scan Instagram. SMH at the Starbucks drink and the cupcake pictures that different friends posted. Seriously impossible to get away from it. Documentation makes me realize how prevalent it is and no wonder I can't ever stop thinking about it.
11:09 - Walk past the workroom to talk to a coworker, see those damn chips again. Why do I keep going back to them? Like considering if eating plain, dry tortilla chips all by themselves is going to be the most delicious thing I've ever tasted???WTF?
11:18 - Past the workroom again to talk to my boss.... Nachos sound really freaking good right now. With tons of melted cheese, beans, tender juicy carne asada, and pico de gallo, guac & sour cream. Going to "lunch" now to do anything but eat - Get into my book so I can get food out of my head.
12:30 - Coworker eating chips. Crunch. Crunch. Crunch. Waiting for my bean soup to re-heat. Thinking of dipping those chips in it. But I wont.
1:09 - Got a work email that there is a ton of leftover food from a Mexican Buffet. I try to forget but see the email again a few min later. Go down just to look, telling myself I wont get any. Yeah right. They have a jicima salad that looks promising. If the dressing isn't all sugar. Score. Its a vinaigrette. The enchiladas look good. Ill just take a small bit to taste. And lots of veggies. With salsa! At least if Im going to be a pig and eat when Im not hungry Ill make it [mostly] healthy. And I can grab veggies for tomorrow's lunch.

Half In Under 2:00 - Check! (Bucket List Item Complete)

After my first half marathon (the Coronado Strip Half) and my disappointing time of 2:10 and my hip acting up on the first mile, I was trained and hungry to run another and beat the 2 hour mark. When I heard that Ryan's cousin Nathan and his cousin were running the SD Holiday Half right after Christmas, I signed up right away and got myself to my masseuse and chiropractor to get my hip issues worked out before the next race.

During my training for the first race I also realized that I didn't need to put in as many training days as my training schedule suggested (5) and that for the time spent, it was actually more beneficial to trade in a run or two for some cross-training and strength exercises. I also seemed to do best sticking to the schedule for the long run, but then doing a mid length run (about 6 miles) and a shorter one (about 3 miles) concentrating on speed. I didn't feel the extra miles were necessary, as when I did fewer miles I was still able to increase my miles without issue, while I did feel the extra wear and tear on my body when keeping up with the full schedule. So this time around modified my workouts, and just maintained my long runs, concentrating on making sure my injuries were nursed and healed before race day.

I was pretty terrified going into it since doing the calculations to finish in under 2 hours meant that I had to maintain less than a 9 min mile on average, which was far faster than I had run in any of my training. My best pace was about 8:30 but I never maintained that pace for more than a mile or two, and my slower miles were about 10:30. Yet I still had hope, as I was fully trained, fully healed, full of adrenaline and headed into a stellar course (mostly downhill, overall loss of elevation, and cool temps during the race).

And timing going pee sucked. Of course you want to wait until last min before the race, but if you do that then you have to battle the throngs of people waiting to do the same. So I did what every self respecting unashamed woman would do (and was doing) - pee behind the bushes with all the men. Suup. So emptied out and ready to run, I went to find my pace group. I figured it would be better psychologically to run just before the 9:00 pace group than to be struggling to keep up with the 8:55 group. They had organized "pens" starting from the start line of approximate paces so I made my way to the back to find a 9:00 pacer there. I didn't bother trying to find Nathan and Alex since they were planning on running a slightly slower pace anyway.

Right of the bat the pace I felt good at was faster than my pacer, so I just took off on my own, figuring if she ever started to pass me I knew I had to step it up. I felt good and strong and as the miles went on I comfortably settled into a 8:30 pace, which felt amazing. About halfway through I saw the Rubins there to cheer on Alex and Nathan, and thinking they were behind me waved to them and said they were. They looked confused, and I wouldn't know why until a few miles later, when I came up behind Alex and Nathan! Imagine my surprise since I thought they were running a slower pace then me yet somewhere after mile 9ish here they were in front of me! Turns out they had found a slower pacer but they were in a group closer to start than my pacer, so they started before I did. I ran with them for a bit then pushed on, knowing that as I fatigued here in the final stretch I needed to maintain my pace if I could. Around mile 10 I started to slow down to about a 9:30 pace, as it was starting to warm up, and I knew the finish was close but not close enough, so mentally I began to feel the wear. But I finished strong a few minutes under my 2 hour goal, with no injuries and feeling fantastic! My fastest mile was mile 4 just over 8 minutes.

I'm very proud of my accomplishment, but won't feel complete until I concur a full marathon. I have set my sights on the SD Rock & Roll full marathon in June of 2015. Timing and location was difficult, as there are not as many full marathons to choose from out there as you would think. And with our busy schedule, there were few options. Since we will be in town for Jared & Kaitlyn's wedding the end of May anyway, the decision sort of fell into my lap. The biggest problem will be training and running at that time of year, as it will be a lot warmer than my body does well running in.I'll just have to wake up really early to run before the day warms up or do evening runs. But I have no time goal for the full marathon (just finishing I figure is challenge enough) although loosely in the back of my head I would like to finish in under 5 hours.

I'm A Finisher!

I lagged on this entry. My training right up until the race was amazing. I trained hard, and followed the schedule, making sure to get in those important long runs, although through trial and error discovered that my body prefers to run 3-4 times a week; 5 is pushing it a little and I do better with an extra rest day or two for my body to recover. Anyway, that last week of training, where you are ramping down on mileage, I decided to push it on speed. My last run was a 3 mile run in the evening. Since normally I take the first few miles to warm up, I just bypassed a warm up, and went for it. Mistake! While the run was one of my best runs, and I broke several personal records, I ended up straining (what I later found out was) my TFL muscle in my hip, and didn't quite realize the severity of the issue. I should  have researched it more, taken epson salt soaks, stretched a lot, seen the chiropractor, tried to get in a last min therapeutic massage, but I just stretched a little - same stretch as I had been using for my IT band, and hoped for the best. Race day and my hip was still tight but what was I going to do? So I just warmed up as much as I could and hoped for the best.

My first two miles were my best times, 9:30 and 8:30 respectively, but after that second mile, I felt it start to cramp up. Crap. Well I wasn't going to quit so I just decided to push through it and stopped every few miles to try to stretch it back out. Miles 9-11 were probably the hardest. Not only was it a slight uphill but it was also the to part of a there & back loop, so its a mental head game seeing how far you have to go before you can even round and come back. Anyway, I pushed the pain aside and just ignored it, willing my body to compensate and get 'er done, and finished in 2:10. My hip was wasted after the race and could hardly walk. But when I got my official race time and saw that I was only 10 min shy of my goal (finishing in less than 2 hours), I was proud of myself and more determined to do another one, this time finishing in under 2! I also realized that I would not be happy until I ran a full marathon. While before I ran the half I thought it would be sufficient, maybe want to do a few half marathons, but a full was just not necessary, after I finished there was no doubt in my mind that I had to run a full.

But first I had to heal the damage I had already done! I saw my chiropractor which set me walking straight again, and scheduled an appointment with my massage therapist to work out the knots and tensions that I had created with my training and the race. I was nearly good as new after that and am now jumping back into training for another half that I've signed up for at the end of the month. Nathan is running it as well as one of his cousins, and they are aiming for a 9 min pace, which is exactly what I would love to run at to accomplish my goal! So I have these last two weeks to push and really train hard while listening to my body and taking care of it when it tells me it needs attention (something that I get older is becoming more important to do; otherwise I injure myself and it takes even longer to heal). Wish me luck!

Race Day Is Upon Me

Well I have successfully trained for the half. I can say that now, even though the race is still a week and a half away, because I have already run my longest training run of 12 miles this last weekend. And that was in the "heat" (70 degree weather is a little too warm for hot body me), and around the uneven terrain of Tierrasanta. So 13 miles game day along the flat Coronado Strand at likely 65 degree overcast 7am weather with several water stations and a gel packet halfway through should be cake. I am pretty proud of myself considering right when I was supposed to be ramping up my long runs (and shortly after finally getting my hip healed and catching up to my training schedule) I had to take a week and a half off for a terrible chest cold that got into my lungs, messed up my voice and gave me a chronic cough that still burdens me. I would love to finish in under 2 hours but I'm not sure that is going to happen, seeing as how my average mile including my little stretching and water breaks amounts to a 11 min mile. But given the right circumstances, I'm staying optimistic I can do it! Because I can comfortably run an average of 10 min miles even for my long runs, and pushing it I can get a mile or two down in the 9 min mile range.

I also talked to my dad and found out that he used to run cross country in high school and had always loved running in his younger years. I never knew since he'll be 70 next year so for the better part of my adult life he has been old and can't comfortably walk more than a mile now.

Overcoming Injuries... And Easing Back Into It.

Everything was going great. Until August 17th. Taste of Tierrasanta. Too much to drink. Too many old people dancing to an awesomely cheezy cover band egging me on to dance. Somehow (my memory is a little fuzzy here) I threw out my hip really bad. I couldn't walk strait. Needed to lean on a wall or handrail to walk up stairs. It was really bad. So I had to let it heal for a week. Almost there, and I twisted my ankle which twisted my hip out again. Back to square one. Another week of healing, good to go. Ok finally going to get running again. End of August, I aim for a 3 mile run. On mile 2 my hip goes out on me. Then I have to walk home, likely further injuring myself. Ok I'm starting to learn my lesson. I wait until it feels ok to walk - about a week and a half. Lots of stretching throughout the day. I realize now I will have to slowly incorporate exercise at all, so I start with a nearly 1 mile walk. Frustrated that I can only walk a mile and my hip feels swollen and hot but try to feel encouraged that I couldn't walk without pain just a week before. Continue to stretch, and walk a little more each day. Throw in a little bit of jogging after a walking warm up. Start jogging for more of the distance while simultaneously adding length to the workout. Lots of stretching, and leg strengthening exercises, and paying a lot of attention to how my hip feels. Yesterday I was able to run 4.25 miles. Sweet! I'm not quite as far behind as I thought I would be since I've been able to add miles faster than I thought I would. Today is supposed to be a 5 mile run and I'll have to take a break since I ran the last 3 days. Sunday is supposed to be my long run which should be up to 7 miles. But as long as I don't have any re-injuries I should be able to add miles enough to catch up in my training schedule by race day.

Mizunos Saved My Life (She Says Dramatically)

Mizuno Women's Wave Rider 16

In sheer desperation, I went into Roadrunner for another assessment to see what they recommended for footwear (I had been assessed years ago but honestly don't remember what the results were and never purchased shoes based on them). Seeing as how I had tried everything I could find or think of and my shin split kept coming back, I was at my wits end. I rested it. I iced it. I took anti-inflammatory medicine. I taped it. I massaged it. I got my leg adjusted by my chiropractor. I rolled my foot over a golf ball. I rolled my shin over a fitness roller. I did leg raises and toe flex exercises daily. And while those all helped, and my injury didn't get worse, it still didn't fully heal either.

In the process of researching my injury and trying various remedies, I also realized that my running technique needed improvement. Namely, my stride was too long, which was causing me to heel strike. This typically exacerbates shin splints, so I knew I had to change up my stride. I shortened it, and this helped measurably. However, to be comfortable I was having to land entirely on my forefoot, which was awkward, and caused blisters around my big toe, even at short distances. This is what finally brought me into Roadrunner. I was pretty sure it was my stride that was the main culprit, and thought that I needed a different pair of shoes that fit better and wouldn't give me blisters.

I was fitted, and found out a number of interesting things:
1. I carry 60% of my weight on my right (the injured) side. It is my dominant side, but this is a very large discrepancy of weight distribution between the two legs.
2. I was wearing too large of shoes. (I was in 7's and I should be in 6.5. My left foot is actually a 5, my right a 6 and your running shoes should be larger but not that much so)
3. Although technically my feet are not wide (they measured me twice) I do need wide shoes, and longer laces to go with them. I must have puffy, 3 dimensionally large feet, if normal width across.

I was given three shoes to try, and the Mizuno Wave Rider, which came in wide ended up being the right fit. Funny thing, if you didn't know, this happens to be the same shoe that Wendy Davis wore for her famous 13 hour filibuster. I swear, I'm not copying her or trying to be trendy.

Anyway, I got these shoes, along with the custom orthotics they made for me. (I have a pair of customs already for every day use, but I figured it was good to have a full foot length one for running, and as an added bonus I wouldn't have to switch them out every time I went running, or go without them if I forgot them that day.)

My first run was heaven. I felt like I was running on clouds. I felt like my feet were weightless and nimble. And I didn't need to run on my toes - I could strike mid-foot and there was no pain in my shin. My third run was a 5 mile run and it felt fantastic. I think I finally have it all sorted out and I finally have traction for my half-marathon goal. Whoot Whoot!

Sugar Free(dom)

I didn't realize I had not updated on my Sugar Eradication post. The two weeks was easier than one would think. I didn't have to decide anymore - the decision was already made. I wasn't eating sugar. For instance, someone brought in cookies one day. I normally would have taken one, then had to decide if I was going to eat it before or after breakfast. How long I would try to hold off before eating it. If it wasn't amazing, would I throw it away or finish it? If it was amazing, would I go back for a second one? (Sometimes even a third?) How soon could it be appropriate to go back for the second one? And how long would I let it sit on my desk before I ate it?

This internal dialogue would happen sometimes several times a day, as I was confronted with sugary temptations at every step of my day. I did a great job at keeping these things out of my house but honestly, I spend less than half of my time there and most of it is spent sleeping. So skipping to the end result saved me that entire conversation with myself. And I realized that my battle was not with choosing to eat it, it was how much I felt I deserved to eat. And I didn't feel that I ever really deserved it because the weight of all the donuts, bagels, slices of cake, pieces of bread, servings of pasta that I had ever eaten before weighed heavily on my conscious, and I wasn't fully enjoying whatever I was splurging on in that moment.

I didn't have any withdrawals - the biggest obstacle was just deciding to quit. And let me tell you, it was the most freeing decision. I was free from sugar and it's addictive hold on me. And at the end of two weeks, while I did lose a few pounds, the biggest change was in my thought process about food, specifically treats and foods I knew were splurges, and my cravings for them. First, I didn't want them like I did before. I stopped having a ravenous appetite for them. In fact, I was craving my protein, my vegetables, my healthy fats. I could pass up something that I knew I didn't really want or need - even at parties and events! And those times that something came up that I knew was amazing or I really wanted to taste, I could - and stop at a bite or two. And often even that was too cloyingly sweet for me. I feel as if my system has been reset. My ideas of portions for treats are appropriate now; there is no way I could down a big bowl of ice cream or have a large piece of cake at this point.

I am looking forward to seeing how my cholesterol has been affected too. At last check it had crept up to 190 (very high for me - it can be as low as 150 for me normally) and there is increasing evidence of sugar consumption being linked to high cholesterol levels (among other heart related diseases).

*UPDATE* My cholesterol had dropped back down to 157 when it was checked in August.

Sugar Eradication

Father's Day was not a proud day for my eating habits. Despite my best attempts, over the course of the day I ended up devouring 4 donuts, a brownie and an ice cream cone. Healthy choice fail. Add another sugar binge to my list of shameful moments. And every item after that first one I felt guilty and ashamed about eating. Every bite. My weight has crept back up a little bit lately, and though I have toned up a lot getting back into working out, that still makes me unhappy. And I know I have been eating too much sugar, although I have done a great job of decreasing my carb intake in general, and replacing processed carbs with complex ones. Soooo, with a really fancy wedding (Ryan's cousin Jason) on July 6th, I decided it was the perfect time to go on a sugar elimination diet for a few weeks.

Can I just say how much happier I am? Its not as hard as you think it would be. Resolution actually makes the process easier. Knowing that I have decided not to eat any sugar is freeing. I don't have to decide if I "can" have something or not, or how much to have, or how fast I can eat it while trying to enjoy it instead of gorge it... The decision has been made, so its not a debate for me. And now, a little over a week in, I don't think about sweets like I used to. I would randomly have a craving for some treat several times a day, and I don't have it anymore. Moreover, white carbs don't taste as amazing as they used to. I stop when I am "full". I don't have the urge to eat past my satiety. And if there is not enough protein or veggies in a meal, it tastes too heavy and pasty for me - I actually crave the good stuff. Yeah I know that sounds like a cliche.

In fact, it is going so well I have been thinking about cutting out sugar forever... how strange that option seems... How realistic is that? Of course the ideal solution would be to get to a point where I could have a bite or two here and there and be satisfied. But I don't know that I can do that. Will I fall off the bandwagon with just one bite? Is my sugar addiction like it is for alcoholics or druggies? Because one drink or one hit for them is NOT an option.

I don't know. At this point I'm just going to take it one day at a time, and see how it goes.The wedding is still a week away and I want to be really good on the carbs this week to get as cute as I can for the wedding.

Not So Fast...

So I thought my shin had healed... not so much. Or at least, not entirely. I started slowly. I was walking only. Then adding in some exercises. Then slow running. And it was there, a dull ache. But it wasn't painful, so I thought I just needed to stretch it out a little as I got back into it. And since then I have added on everything I could look up to help with them. I'm taping them with Rock Tape. I'm taking ibuprofen (anti-inflammatory). I'm doing specific exercises like leg lifts to strengthen my muscles. I got a foam exercise roller to massage my legs. All that was just keeping it at a dull ache while running, so I think I have finally realized that I need to do all of that AND rest for a bit longer to let them fully heal.

The bright side is that I get to enjoy this amazing San Diego weather and start a new book to read on my lunch breaks!

On a side note, I completed my first 5K in a decade. And I was pretty pleased - I only added a minute and a half to my total time, at about 9:30 per mile, not too shabby. If I can just get this damn shin healed I know I  can blow that out of the water with some real workouts!

First Half Marathon

Well my leg finally healed. There was a time I thought it might not, it was going so slowly. But its finally there and I am easing back into working out and running. In all of my excitement and enthusiasm in getting back out there, and Abby finally being at the age and temperament that I could foresee training and aiming for one of my life goals, a half marathon, I decided to go for it. Summer would be terrible since I die (seriously die) in heat, so the new year would be the earliest I could do it. A friend of mine who is a seasoned marathon runner (she has done 10 already and I don't even know how many half marathons), knew offhand that the Tinkerbell Half Marathon was in January and that would be good timing. I thought that would be perfect; what better race for my Disney fairy obsessed daughters to cheer me on for than a Tinkerbell themed one at DISNEYLAND????? So here I go. This week I did my first all running workout. It was almost 3 miles. LOL I have some work to do! I signed up for UCSD's 5K in June for practice and to get a baseline for what my times are like, and work up from there. Registration for the THM is not up yet, I think it opens next month or so.

My Battle With Food Is Over: I Win

So my last post on this blog was almost a year ago. I had used the Skinny Bunny Cleanse a few times to "reset" my eating habits and weight, but had recently crept back up to just under 140 which is so discouraging since I was hopeful to stay in the 130-135 range. I would eat healthy during the week, be able to lose the weekend weight then gain it all back and sometimes then some at social and family weekend events. Then I would be done for if there was a long weekend, or a mid-week event. I would be so angry with myself and felt guilty that I could binge for a day and undo what I had worked so hard all week to accomplish. I thought that was just the inevitable never ending battle, and was ready to just fight a losing battle for the rest of my life.

Meanwhile, I had been fighting with Ryan about healthy eating and why it is so important. Here I am struggling to lose weight and be healthy, and there he is not caring at all and unintentionally thwarting my efforts by making the girls brownies for lunch on days he has off, and not caring about eating vegetables himself. I have been a huge fan of the health craze documentaries (Supersize Me, Forks Over Knives, Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead) and so I started looking for books on it to make him read to really get the point across. I wanted him to take our health more seriously and I felt that information was the key. So I found two books on Amazon, and I bought them. I wanted to read them first, since I felt it was unfair to make him read something before I had. I started with Why We Get Fat: And What to Do About It by Gary Taubes, then moved to Fat Chance: Beating the Odds Against Sugar, Processed Food, Obesity, and Disease by Robert Lustig. I had no expectations, and didn't know what it was about besides more health & diet books. Boy was I in for a surprise.

Essentially the books break it down from a historical and scientific standpoint to prove how and why; the problem is simply a perfect storm of things: too many carbs, mostly processed, devoid of fiber, not enough vegetables, added sugar and lots of fat in almost every manufactured food, how cheap it is, how good it tastes...

Now at this point if I were reading this, I would say, well duh. We know all that stuff. How is that a novel idea? And, in general, I live by those standards, so why do I struggle? Why am I still fat? Well I guess what it boils down to is that I had to read all the background to have my "ah-ha" moment. I was so close. I was almost there. But I had to have it broken down for me on the biological and evolutionary level so that I really understood the process of how our body turns food into energy & fat.  And suddenly, everything that I had ever heard, read or experienced for myself clicked into place. I always knew that a bag of chips was bad for you. That candy was bad for you. But I always thought that it was only as bad as the empty calories that I was eating. I always knew that being fit and working out was healthy for you, but in my mind I was putting it in the context of how 3500 calories burned = 1 lb. Even though my weight would yo-yo up or down several pounds in one day and I know I had overdone it but not 10,000 calories worth I still believed those simple explanations and formulas of health and diet. I knew that everyone has different metabolisms and different thresholds for how much someone can eat without gaining weight because I had experienced it myself, but I still held on to the idea that anyone should be eating 1500 calories a day if they wanted to lose weight, and that they should be burning about 500 a day to help further. Essentially I was on the edge of understanding and being able to implement it in my own life, but didn't have the full picture - the full comprehension - to do it before. I needed to be able to dispel the myth from the truth, since there are a million diets, exercise routines and tricks to lose weight.

I was amazed and fascinated, intrigued and absorbed. I ate it up. Interesting, both books came to the same conclusion. Different studies, more science, more "biology class" of how our body actually processes the food we eat, what hormones are involved, and what happens when we eat different kinds of foods. The food industry and why it manufactures food the way it does, and what that does to our body. Then I found a documentary series that Lustig did - he's with UCSF and they have the series "The Skinny on Obesity" on youtube. (Fantastic overview of the latest science & research)

I found that the key was a few ideas that I was allowed to dispel. This is funny because they never made sense to me anyway based on my own experience but they are so ingrained in common knowledge you just believe them.


The Myth: The reason people are overweight or obese is because they are gluttons and sloths. Disease and obesity is simply a function of eating too much and exercising too little.
The Truth: In fact, those things are side effects of the real problem. Diets that focus on controlling the supply of food (how much you eat) rarely work. Diets that are able to control the demand (how much food you want to eat) are much more successful. How? The answer is eating the right foods so that our body chemistry is regulated and we are not hungry but also satisfied and so that we have enough energy to be active. (We have just had it backwards the whole time.)


The Myth: Our bodies are simple machines, and consume X number of calories, burn X number of calories (based on activity level and metabolism) and whatever is left over is stored as fat. Eating less and working out enough is the key to maintain a healthy weight.
The Truth: If our body is in "fat storing" mode, it will send certain calories consumed right straight to fat. This leaves  little for your body to run on, so your body will tell you to eat more since you are "starving" (even though in fact you have eaten plenty). If that doesn't work and we resist that hunger, our bodies shut down and we become lethargic, to conserve energy.

The Myth: Fat is the culprit. We should be eliminating fat and sticking to healthy fats in low levels. Processed carbs are bad, but whole grains are healthy for you and we should be eating a proportional amount of them for a balanced diet.
The Truth: Too much carb & fat, together, is the culprit - and sugar is both, all in one. And for those of us who struggle with our weight, we should be minimizing or reducing our carb consumption, the amount determined based on our own bodies unique tolerance for carbohydrate, and the ones we do eat should be very limited (20-200 total grams of carbs per day), coming from whole grains, fruits, vegetables and legumes. And when we eat the right foods, our body regulates a healthy weight on it's own and adjusts our feelings of hunger, satiety and how much energy we have available to burn. This is called ketosis.

The Little Realized Truth: Carbs are all starches, grains, and sugars. This means carrots and potatoes, rice (even brown), wheat (even whole), oatmeal, beans & fruit too, not just what we normally think of when we think of carbs (white bread, chips, cake). If you have a problem with weight, you should be decreasing the healthy ones, avoiding the bad ones altogether.

The proof is in the pudding. I've been implementing what I have learned into my diet for about 3 weeks now. Eliminating carbs where I can, decreasing consumption and trying to choose healthier carb options when I can't eliminate. Without measuring food or counting calories I am now down to 133. My weight does not yo-yo by up to 4 lbs in one day anymore. It is steady and varies by not more than a pound each day. When I do eat the bad stuff - cake, cookies, chips - I eat smaller amounts and don't have the same animistic craving and need to continue eating more of it. For the first time in my life, I feel satisfied. (Feeling full is different, and I would feel full or over-full often due to overeating but still crave food).

I have changed my perspective and realize now that processed carbs and sugar are addictive, toxic substances to my body. Of course they taste amazing but I realize that the more of them I eat, the more I will crave them, the more I will shift my body to fat storage mode instead of fat burning mode. I know that if I avoid those foods, I will have more energy to be active. If I avoid those foods, they will lose their power over me.

It sounds like a terrible diet, right? No carbs, no sugar? How can that be fun? I went to lunch with a friend and this is what I had: Tuna Poke, grilled artichoke with basil-garlic aioli, baked mussels with spicy cream sauce and steamed clams in butter. My typical breakfast is a 2 (whole) egg omelet with veggies, avocado and plenty of cheese (Eggs every day you say? There goes your cholesterol. Actually its decreased by 10 points). A favorite dinner is caprese salad. I found a really awesome "diabetes friendly" bread that has only 6 grams of carbs, 5 grams of fiber and nearly 9 of protein. I love to toast that, spread with cream cheese, and top with smoked salmon. Any hearty salad with some sort of protein, just make sure to hold the croutons or crunchies. Any pasta sauce - just replace the pasta with julianned zucchini. Remember, carbs are the enemy, not fat. You do have to be careful about hidden sugars.  Anything fat free - like salad dressings - almost always replace the fat with sugar. Canned spaghetti sauce. Ketchup. Brand name bread (sugar keeps it from going stale as quickly so it has a longer shelf life). And some things have far more carbs than you would expect. Pasta is terrible - almost 50 grams of carbs for a 1 cup serving! A tortilla has like 35.

So that is the long of it. That is such a basic overview it doesn't really touch the details of what the research and science goes into, but it is the outline of my journey over the last few weeks, and how it has changed me.

Skinny Bunny Cleanse

So I found this girl Catherine's blog through one of my friends, and she had an entry on the Skinny Bunny Cleanse. Besides it being adorable since one of Ryan's pet names for me is bunny, it actually looked like a cleanse I could wrap my head around. 5 ingredients, all high in nutrients in different combos for 5 days. Good sized portions spread out during the day, and high protein and fiber to keep you full longer. And with Abby's party this weekend (which means photo ops I don't want to look fat for) and no fun events planned this week (which means no fun food to try to avoid) it was the perfect time to go for it. So off to Costco I went for my raspberries, spinach, almonds, greek yogurt and egg whites. I also got a frozen bag of blueberries to supplement the raspberries since I couldnt find frozen ones and you can only buy and store so many fresh raspberries!

Monday, July 9th / Day 1
Starting weight: 137.5
Breakfast went well. Duh. My body had no idea what it was getting itself into - it thought I was just eating a nice light breakfast, gearing up for lunch.... which didnt happen. Actually lunch was quite filling and half way through I was satisfied, and put the rest away since I knew I would get hungry in the early afternoon before leaving work. I at that and drank my smoothie on the way home. Dinner was good and I went to bed proud of myself!
Lesson #1: Its amazing how much we overeat. The quantity of nutrient dense food needed to fuel our bodies is surprisingly small. Yet since we crave the very things that in excess are so bad for us and in today's society they are so cheap and readily available (and TASTE so damn good) it is a daily struggle, and has to be a conscious decision to stay healthy and eat less of those things.

Tuesday, July 10th / Day 2
Weight: 134.7 (-2.8 lbs)
I was NOT happy waking up. I was starving, not having eaten in 12 hours and that meal being "light" at that. I always eat at work since there is no time getting all of us out the door, so I had to wait until I got to work to eat. I swear I thought I was going to pass out, and thought I wasnt going to make it far in this diet if this is how it made me feel. (Under no circumstances would I stick to any "diet" if I felt it was doing more damage than good to my body or I felt it was unhealthy). But I ate breakfast and it was surprisingly filling and I felt SOO much better afterward. The rest of the day went well, as I spread out the meals. Dinner was tough, since Cheryl and Nana came over for Abby's birthday for dinner and brought Arby's. The hardest part was just deciding beforehand that I wasnt going to eat any of it; once that was done it was actually pretty easy to ignore everyone else's food and stick to mine. I also decided to have my smoothie later at night to help decrease that 12 hour fasting stretch from the day before that was obviously too long for my blood sugar.
Lesson #2: Feeling empty feels GOOD. And I dont mean being hungry. Its a light, lean, thinned out, agile and strong feeling. Its the feeling of being able to take flight at any moment. Its about not being weighed down (pun intended) by  rich, heavy food that while delicious, makes you feel like a lump of lead on the couch.

Wednesday, July 11th / Day 3
Weight: 132.4 (-2.3 lbs / -5.1 lbs total)
I also decided I liked some of the meals to be deconstructed; the morning almonds I liked better whole and as a separate snack on the side. And those were easy to eat first thing in the morning at home anyway, so I could get something in but wait for the rest of breakfast until getting to work, which additionally helped with the "night" fasting period. I couldnt resist the tomatoes and peppers from my mom's garden and put those in my morning omelet too. That would just be dumb to pass that up! Went to Costco again because I already needed more fresh raspberries, and like a dumbass I miscalculated and didnt buy enough greek yogurt. Debated baking some tofu too to add to my dinner salad,  and whether to dunk it in soy or not, which I normally do with my baked tofu. Would for sure be going off the diet. lol.
Lesson #3: A majority of my meals should be to provide healthy fuel for my body. I feel better when I eat to live, instead of living to eat.


Thursday, July 12th / Day 4
Weight: 131.6 (-.8 lb / -5.9 lbs total)
Went off the diet, but still kept the basic elements. Abby got Roseola and I had to be home Thursday and Friday with the girls. Did the baked tofu, and had that on my salad. Had other fruits that we had in the house.  Was a little less strict on the measurements for everything.
Lesson #4: Only eat enough to not be hungry anymore. Being satisfied is relative. Eating to live is satisfying your hunger. Living to eat is satisfying all of your cravings and eating until you are full, which is too much. Of course it doesnt last you as long and you need to eat way more often, but this is better for your metabolism anyway, and you only eat as much as you need!

Friday, July 13th / Day 5
Weight: 131.8 (+.1 lb / -5.8 lbs total)
Very happy with the cleanse. I only kept strictly on it for 3 days, but I ate in the spirit of it for the additional two days. Had a big beer to celebrate! Today is now the following Wednesday of the cleanse, and even after Abby's party I have maintained all of the weight lost! (This morning I weighed 131.8!) I would still love to get down below 130, which I have not touched since I got married, and maybe getting back into my workout routine after last week will do it, but Im very happy even where I am at.
Lesson #5: With determination, the right kind of eating, and the right kind of activity, you CAN get back to your ideal weight!

I'm Baaaaack!

Well I had pretty much abandoned my physical activities for a while there when I got pregnant with Abby. But Abby is now a year old next Tuesday, so here I am, back. I actually started back maybe 4 months ago (gosh has it really been that long???) with weight watchers. I realized I needed some big change to alter my eating habits, which had gotten out of control and way off balance between being pregnant and nursing & producing so much extra milk.But as Abby got older, and my production tapered off, and our new "normal" life settled in a little bit more, I needed to make some changes.

I apologize as some of this recap is redundant from my regular blog, but long story short I did weight watchers for a few months. Great kick start, a lot of wonderful information that I still use and will continue to use. I lost 5 full lbs on that, then flat lined and came to the conclusion that it was finally time to add back in some kind of physical routine. So I pretty much went off of WW, and set out to figure out a workout routine. It wasnt going to happen outside of work, I knew that, so I started running on lunch breaks a few times a week. It was the same (for the most part) run I used to do while going to Muir at UC San Diego, so it also held that nostalgia for me. Its worked out great and I've toned up a huge amount and now fit in all my old clothes. 

I also recently just got my body fat tested again, and I had lost a full 6+ lbs of pure fat from the last time. My lean mass was less, (down to around 101 lbs) was less than last time, probably due to water weight. So my "goal" weight would be another 5 lbs, at around 130, would make a HUGE difference on my frame, and would put me at around 22% body fat. Totally doable, healthy and lookin good. Easier said than done though! Abby's 1st birthday party is next weekend, and I really wanted to loose it by then to look great for the pictures but I dont know if that is going to happen at this point!

I also a little bit ago took pictures again in my "skinny" jeans from way back when and I'll add them to this post when I have time. They do fit, but not enough to wear around/out. That last 5 lbs would make that difference!

If all else fails, we have our backpacking trip in Jan or Feb, and I wont be following Ryan's recommended diet while hiking, so hopefully this time I will lean up on the trail. :0)

New Low Norm

I've been really good the last few weeks, and I have a new low normal range of 142.5-144.5. Thats so great, considering this has been such a tough ride. As you can see, Im all over the place and tend to have a monthly cycle up and down, and my weight varies a LOT. So Im just doing the best I can to maintain my new low, and aim for even lower. A huge milestone for me would be getting below 140 and having my norm range from 139-141. So keep working out when I can, eating as good as I can mangage, and allow myself a day off here or there, or a treat now and then. It's all about balance and I'm finally finding the line!

Doing Better!

Im doing better! Vacation was actually a really good time; not for exercise, because I didnt do much, but I did loose a few lbs due to just eating better. Then when we got back, we began a new schedule of Ryan picking up Aurora so that I have 30 min when I get home until they get home. I am a super star with that time and normally have dinner just about on the table when they get home! That leaves way more time in the evening before Rory goes to bed, so we have been taking 30-60 min wonderful walks in the early evening. Rory loves them so much, and Guinness needs them, cause she is a fat ass, and, well we need them for the same reason. lol. Then a night last week I did Jillian Michael's 30 day shred (thanks Alyssa for the extra copy!) and last night I did a P90X video. So Ive been consistently working out the last week. And low and behold, Im losing weight! Today's weigh in was 143.2. If I can maintain it through this weekend I will be on track to be in the 142 range for next week. I would love to get to 140, and to get into the 130's range would be so great!